im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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