New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
