I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just cropdusted the office
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
