Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
