break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
