I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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