I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
