You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
