alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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