May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
