p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
