I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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