its not stalking. its research.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
