At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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