captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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