Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
