Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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