the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
