you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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