i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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