I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
They took my balls.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Randomize
