ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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