Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
