If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize