Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
