how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
