He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
