yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
