Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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