I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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