I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
