I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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