I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
