I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
