So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
