Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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