I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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