new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
