I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
