It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I need to sanitize my soul.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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