Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
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