I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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