I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize