no, he came in my armpit
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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