That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
