If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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