So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
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