i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
