Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
