My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
this beer tastes like vomit already
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
