I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
