If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
