There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
