Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I had to cum in my sink.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
