Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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