he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i out mim tonsoeep
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
