I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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