Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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