is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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