I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
