That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize