I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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