Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
