I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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