Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
