so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Panties = found
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
