And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
did i just pee glitter
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